You rehearse the conversation while rinsing a mug: the exact words, the context, the reasons you are allowed to be hurt. By the time you’re done, you’ve built a whole case for a feeling that was yours before you started defending it. You do not need perfect evidence to notice that something does not feel okay.
Feelings are information
A feeling is not a verdict on another person, and it does not have to settle the entire relationship. It can still be useful information: I felt small when that happened; I need more time before answering; I do not want to discuss this while we’re shouting. Listening to yourself is a place to begin, not a demand to have every answer.
Try a smaller sentence
Boundaries do not need to arrive as a speech. “I’m not available for that tonight,” or “I want to pause this conversation,” can be enough for the moment. You can be considerate without offering a courtroom-length explanation for every no.
Let time be part of it
If you have spent a long time second-guessing yourself, trust may return in small, ordinary moments. Notice what you feel after a conversation, write down what happened in your own words, or talk with someone you trust. You do not have to settle the whole question tonight; start by taking your own experience seriously.